Jeremiah's Complaints

This blog tracks my problems with the way the universe is run.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

My running shoes are silver. I bought them because I thought they would be cool. But the shiny pleather is losing its charm. I feel like I'm wearing an 8 year old girls snow shoes. I guess in terms of everyday living you're better offf selecting things which aren't as visually striking as silver running shoes. Maybe its the equivalent of wearing a tuxedo everyday. However, there should be no comparisons between my silver running shoes and a tuxedo.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Compliments for John Roberts

John Roberts is the President's choice to be the next Supreme Court Justice. Supreme Court Justices get vote on a panel and determine how laws are interpreted, relate to the constitution, and if they are good laws. This is a lifetime post. The Supreme Court is very powerful and very difficult to defy or overturn. Basically what they say, goes. You probably knew all that, if not more.

Anyway, from all the news coverage I have mistakenly watched all the information I see about the man are "pleasant" compliments. Everyone is very impressed how charming and funny Mr Roberts. Apparently he's quite the character. I saw a friend of his on the morning show and he kept saying how he was more interested in John Roberts' wife and what a great woman she is. And on other shows whenever people who know him are asked about his leanings on issues they always answer first by stating what a gentleman, and a funny and charming one at that.

What's the deal? Why are the talking points consist of how charming the man is? People are talking about the next Supreme Court Justice and describing him like they would the neighborhood's top babysitter, a good person to car pool with, or someone who would be a good date for your friend who just had a tough break up.

It's Supreme Court Madness, people.

Supreme Court Madness

It's that time of the year again where everyone gets all excited about the Supreme Court. It's what people are talking about at the water cooler, on their smoke breaks, and in teen centers across the nation.

Nothing quite grabs this country like its fascination with the Supreme Court. Kids love it. It's fun to follow your favoirite cases and see how they affect your liberties.

One of the most powerful branches of government, the Supreme Court decides how to interpret laws made by the friends we elect to the Senate, the house of representatives, and sometimes the presidency.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Another Virtual Dinner Date!

Ideas for Stage Dramas

Idea Number One:

Home From School
by Jeremiah Murphy

When arriving home from college, Anton, the son of a Russian Literature Professor, discovers that his mother has moved out of the house into a boarded up shack in the backyard. His father never makes any mention of the new situation and instead becomes consumed by composing 5 minute operas based on the aftermath of the Crimean War. The operas are beautiful, as well they should be, as the old man, Dr Scratch, who lives in the basement has been helping Anton's father compose them. Anton's high school sweetheart, Emily, stops by one day and offers Anton a handful of gold to marry her so she can carry on a relationship with a middle aged librarian, Theodore, who killed her brother in a car accident last fall. Anton's mother refuses to come out of her shed. The operas fill the house and interfere with Anton's leisure reading. Mr Scratch reveals to Anton that he is the devil and offers him eternal happiness in exchange for his soul. How can one have eternal happiness if his soul is sold to the Devil? What exactly is Dr Scratch offering? Emily hears Anton and Dr Scratch and offers to sell her soul to bring her brother back to life so that she can marry Theodore in good conscience. Dr. Scratch ponders the offer. Anton goes to the bank and asks for a loan for the mobile home he bought with the gold coins that Emily gave him (and has since taken back) to feign marriage so she could be with Theodore. At the bank office, Mr Crabbage, reviews Anton's loan application and informs him that it will take until the end of the play to process his loan. Anton could sell the mobile home back to make up his losses but he has already discussed going on a cross country spiritual pilgrammage to an ancient american relic in southern Canada with his high school second string sweetheart, Patty, whom he never gave love a chance because he always thought there was something better out there but has since thought about it and thinks if companionship is what he really wants on a journeys to the ancient American shrine, Patty may be the one. A literary agent, Hank Muntz, from an Off-Broadway house offers to buy 6 of Anton's father's 5 minute operas and even considers the play currently being performed in which he is a character. But what of Anton's mother? In the shack she has painted a self portrait so life like it has gained a soul of its own. Dr Scratch accepts Emily's offer and her brother comes back to life . He then claims Emily's soul and she is instantly killed. Theodore weeps and offers to sell his soul to bring Emily back to life. Dr Scratch considers the offer. Patty starts to cook a meal for Anton and then realizes she has had no interest in him for the past three years. What is she doing with her life? Anton's mother, a little creeped by the painting with the soul, leaves the shack and returns to the house, where Anton's father has begun auditioning directors alongside Hank Muntz. Anton's father breaks down crying that his wife has returned. Anton's mother explains that it was because of the painting with the soul in the shack. One of the directors at the director's audition remarks what a complex drama is in progress. Hank Muntz agrees and mentions again how he has been considering shopping the play around in which he is a character. The auditioning director delivers a monologue on fate which summons the painting into the house. Emily is raised from the dead as Dr Scratch has claimed both the soul of her and Theodore. Both feeling foolish they sit through a monologue by Dr Scratch as he explains how the divine creates and the "un-divine" destroys. Anton, feeling neglected as the main character, storms into his house and sees a flying painting, Hank Muntz, his mother, his father, an auditioning director as well as the whole audience. Anton leaps into the audience and apologizes for the lack of comedy, his favorite form of entertainment, and launches into a monologue about comedy and sadness. An usher approaches Anton and directs him to a seat. "Oh how tempting it is to watch instead of act," he says as he sits. Emily stops Dr Scratch's monologue and says that while the "un-divine" may destroy Dr Scratch has in fact created a stronger love between Emily and Theodore, a love which has been created anew because of their mutual sacrifices. Dr Scratch has been outwitted and Emily and Theodore reclaim their souls. Anton cheers in the audience! He attempts to re-enter the play but the usher stops him. Emily's brother raised from the dead sings a song about the beauty of heaven. Such sweet chords age Emily's brother into a full grown man. The spiritual bauty which now flushes from Emily's brother attracts the painting with a soul and gives the soul a new body which looks just like Anton's mother. At the end of the play there is a triple wedding with Emily's brother and the painting lady, Emily and Theodore, and Anton's mother and father (they give a brief monologue explaining their youthful preference for not getting married). We see Dr Scratch in the shack painting a portrait of his own. Is he creating? Hank Muntz and his director friend officiaite the wedding and during the proceedings invite Anton back into the play where Patty apologizes for leading him on. The bank officer interrupts the ceremony and says that Anton's loan has been denied. The play just stops and the cast freezes until the audience decides its the right time to leave.

Cell Phone

I hate my cell phone. I got a new one a couple months ago. It takes more time to turn on than my college computer. It has so many features and icons it looks like an Egyptian tomb. When it rings it shows me a picture of itself ringing. I don't need my mind messed with like that. And when I miss a call it says "MISSED CALL" then has a little picture of itself surrounded by question marks as if it were saying "Where the HELL were you?" If I miss a call, I miss a call, don't make a big deal about it cell phone. And on top of that everytime the phone rings I need to charge the battery up again.

I've noticed in New York City, the little newspaper stands are offering phone charging stands for like $5 for 10 minutes. Now I know why, my phone's operating system has such a high powered processor it needs a nuclear power cell to sustain a fifteen minute phone conversation.

And not to mention how hot the phone gets when I talk on it because there's so much juice coarsing through it to power the fully animated display screen. My phone gets so hot when I talk on it I feel like I'm pressing my cheek against the cheek of the person i'm talking to on my cell phone. Which would be sweet if it were loved one, but most of the time its just saying "You have no new messages." I don't want to press my cheek up against that lady's cheek. Her breath smells like burnt cell phones.

Movie Theaters

I spent four hours in a movie theater yesterday. I was on a train home and the train informed me that it was going to skip my stop and make express stops so I figured I might as well just ht the cinema.

I got to the theater and immediately bought my popcorn. Before I bought my popcorn I had forgotten that I had to use the bathroom. I was by myself, had to use the bathroom, and a had a small popcorn in my hand. I didn't know what to do. I can't bring the popcorn into the bathroom with me. What would I do? Put it on top of the urinal and maybe snack a little while I do my business? Place it on the sink and come back to it, hopeing people don't give me dirty glances or dry their hands on my popcorn? Camp out in a stall? I finally just wrapped it in a plastic bag and put it in my backpack.

After that over thought dilemma was done with I headed into the theater. It was a science fiction movie. I saw that a little boy and his mother or father (it was dark, I couldn't tell) where in the same row as me. I thought it was very sweet as I remembered going to the movies with my mother or father when I was young. I hadn't noticed the child was delivering a seminar to his parent until the movie began and I heard constant chatter from down the row as the child pointed things out, asked what just happened, and demanded to know if one scene was a dream sequence. I thought the loud sci-fi effects of the novie would drown out the child's speech however whenever there was an explosion or the dramatic music would swell the child would raise his voice over the sound so that he could be heard.

I didn't like the movie that much. The characters in the movie who were supposed to be old friends talked to each other like I imagine I would talk to people I was in a doctor's office with for a day. I wanted to see a good movie so I got out of that movie and went into another. This second movie was better but I got "movie-face' from staring in one direction too long and forty five minutes into it the movie theater seat felt like I planted myself in a milk crate.