I Am Tired

I am absolutely pooped. I feel like a lump of lead. Like a big lug. I'm so tired I am jealous of sand. It just lies there. And when its thrown or kicked it's just plops down and takes a nap. I am so beat right now. I am so wiped. I need to hit the hay and chew ona few Z's. I really am exhausted, y'all. I could use a few winks. You know what I need to do? Take a load off. I need to set a spell, y'all. I really do. Hit the sack. Hit it with a thump. Where's talking sleeping on my back tired because I'm too zonked to roll over. I'm just going to zonk out. Did you hear me yawn just now? I sounded like a very tired man yawning before he takes a much needed sleep. If I were a bear I would be in a cave hibernating because hibernating is another word for sleeping. I could use some slumber. I'm all petered out over here. I think it is time for a wee bit of shut eye. Good night, everyone.

Dear People At My Job

Dear People at My Job,

Stop asking me questions. Stop it. I'm not singling anybody out, this applies to everyone. Stop asking how to do things, if I know things, and can I do things. Stop it. I average being asked a question once every 30 seconds. It is driving my insane. Enough. And don't try to cheat by making a passive statement and hoping I will jump in with an answer. Example: "Oh my, the copier broke. I wish there was something I could do about it." You say this, expecting me to say I'll fix it. You are not a victim. You are a person capable of asking questions when you need things. This passive approach to requesting assistance is the number one factor in taking you off my cool list. However even if you do muster up the courage to ask me something please refer to the beginning of this paragraph where I told you to stop asking me questions. Basically from now on don't count on me as a source of assistance but just merely someone to say hello to. If you need help with something, just pu it off for a couple months. The weather's too nice for me to think about filling out forms, accessing my knowledge of office protocol, or removing paper jams. Thank you.

Jeremiah

PS And also please stop throwing exposition at me. Yes, I care about yourwelfare. Yes, everyone needs to vent. And yes, you have it very rough, all of you. However, if you have a story to tell, you better give me some juice and crackers along with it.