Terror

Raise the terror alert to orange, y'all. We just saw Janet Jackson's boob.

When did the female body become so offensive? Like no one's ever seen one before. Get a grip, FCC. You want to talk about indecency? Look at any networks Saturday night line-up. I can't wait for Bush to pass a "No Boob" law.

Oops

That sounds that just came from my direction wasn't me. Honest. You might not want to stand downwind from me.

Tuesday Morning

Man, I do not feel like being at my desk today. I'd rather be at the beach with a suitcase of a million dollars and determined to win a boatrace.

Tell me this, folks: If a beautiful lady can have a beauty mark on her cheek, may I have a toothpast stain on my sleeve? Do they have the same level of distinction?

I hope so.

Everybody I talk feels like their lives are in a rut. Is this true? What can we do to get out of it?

Contest!

I have decided to hold a contest for my website. I think everybody should participate. Check it out here.

I wrote the page early this morning and made numerous typos. So go easy on me.

Sunday

Dear Mr Robertson,

Flames are mixed in with my breath when I think of you for you give us a taste of Hell.

Sincerely,

Jeremiah Murphy