An odd turn of events...

If my office suddenly turned into a jungle, I would disable the slicer from the paper cutter and use it as a machete.

A Nice Chunk

I got a nice chunk of work here at the old temp job. A nice wet, juicy, stinky chunk of work. Real meaty and palpable. It's a got a good weight to it. A nice chunk.

Somebody get me a new job, please!

Super Powers

If you could have a super power which super power would you have? This question has plagued me ever since I can remember. Each year I keep asking and asking myself this question. The answer changes constantly: Unassisted flight, super-human speed, teleportation, the undefined ability to undo mistakes. As I grow older other powers seem a little more attractive: independent wealth, home ownership, a satisfying means to make a living, social prestige, an unlimited supply of quips.

I don't know where else to take this thought. What would you have for a super power?

Today's Bonehead Award Goes To...

We have two xerox machines here at the English Department. One is out of staples. A professor just aksed me if I knew how to reload the stapler in the machine. I don't. I told her to use the other machine. She told me she wasn't "aware that that machine made multiple copies."

It's a copy machine.