9/11

On September 11, 2001 I was at a staff meeting at a restaurant I was working at as a strolling character actor. All the actors were there to meet about how to go about the business of strolling character acting. These meeting always occured around 8:30 or so before the restaurant opened. The restaurant was located in midtown Manhattan. The meeting had been light discussing the cold eggs that we had been served and people reading The Post while the director of operations spoke. At the end of the meeting the director of operations made an announcement that "two trains" had the World Trade Center. Then a few minutes later one of the actors had gotten a phone call--he had a meeting in the World Trade Center after our meeting--and told us the news. The World Trade Center had collapsed and the Pentagon had been attacked. I had been around the World Trade Center a few days earlier. A friend of mine worked in Jersey directly across from it and I would pass the WTC whenever I would go to hop on a ferry to meet him for lunch. Those two towers were so big your neck would hurt if you stood at the base and tried to see the top. They were really tall. And definite, its still hard for me to realize they aren't there anymore.

After hearing about the attacks, I can't remember the exact feeling but I remember how strong it was, I felt that random bombings were going to take place and that I could die at any second. This feeling intensified when two people came by the restaurant (most of us decided it was safest just to stay put) and said that grand Central Station had just been bombed. They were wrong, but that's what it felt like after the atacks that random buildings were just going to blow up. We couldn't see the plumes of smoke coming from lower Manhattan unless we went to an ATM around the corner which broadcast the news on two TV monitors. It felt like a movie. Never have I seen such destruction so close to me. It looked like my town had been set on fire. Inside the restaurant we had no TV and someone rigged up a radio station to the restaurant's sound system. The radio news was loud and harsh. I recommend not leaving he radio on during a disaster. The information was so colorful and dramatic it was jarring and made the day worse. The station identification including a loud whooshing sound which was horrible. One commentator referred to the attach on the Pentagon as looking like someone slicing out a piece of cake. "Act of war" was repeated over and over. the station took a break at one point and had an advertisement for a travel agency which made me laugh with talk of low-airfare and "getaways."

We would hang out in front of the restaurant and watch the crowds of people migrating northward. People in work clothes slowly marching upwards, it was kind of quiet. Most of us were shooken up. Everybody was on the phone. The phone lines were all busy. I discovered that if you call through a calling card which employes a 1-800 number or call 1-800-CALL-ATT or 1-800-COLLECT those switch boards weren't so busy and those calls could go throw. I think I reached my Mom or left a message and said I was fine. A fighter jet or two roared over head and I remember feeling safe. I started commenting about how safe I felt under President Bush. A Republican would be storng on defense and be best for this situation, I thought. This guy who had really wanted to vote Nader in 2000 but decided the best way to keep the Republicans out was to vote for Gore, who as 16 year old dreamed of voting for Jerry Brown in the 1996 Democratic Primaries, had become a two day Republican. My pro-Bush sentiment went away after a couple days but that's how I felt that moment when I felt like someone was trying to get us (and more importantly get me).

A group of us decided to go find a place to give blood. We walked to one place and were turned away and walked to another place and were turned away. We stopped at a Deli where a couple Israelis were working. One of them said "Now you know what we go through every day in Israel." As we walked across the city, we passed one avenue it might have been 6th or 5th we could see the dark smoke rising up from lower Manhattan. It was tall and almost took the shape of the towers. No place would accept any blood donors and they all recommended we come back later in the week which I never did.

One thing that sticks out was how nice the weather was. It was beautiful. I remember I kept commenting on the weather. I guess we kind of retreat to familiar trivia when faced with disaster.

I lived in Queens and others in the group lived in that direction too, so we all headed for the 59th Street Lexington stop. As we walked east we passed the CBS, FAO Schawartz complex. There was a big picture of Ted Danson advertising "Becker." He had a big smile, it sounds stupid, but it really made me feel better to see Ted Danson smiling. It made me feel like--I don't really know. I'm a little embarassed to admit that he--advertising a second rate sitcom nonetheless--was smiling at us all, letting us know (in my mind) that everything would be all right that we are all still here. Thanks, Ted Danson.

The train I rode home went above ground and onto an elevated bridge and gave a slear view of Manhattan. The lower tip was had billows of smoke rising up. A man selling discount batteries came through the subway car (if you're not familair with New York subways people comethrough selling trinkets, batteries, newspapers--illegally--all the time). The salesman reminded us that we could use the batteries for our portable radios to keep up to date what was going on. One of the peopel I was on the subway turned and made some remark how he was happy the battery guy changed adapted his schpiel.

I got off the train and called my parents again telling them I was almost home and safe. When I got home my roommate was on the couch with the TV on. We were glad to see each other. It was good to see any familair faces that day (including pictures of Ted Danson). My roommate told me how our landlady insisted that an insurance agent come over to inspect some water damage to the apartment. My roommate tried telling her that today might not be a good day with the nation being under attack an all but she insisted. I can't remember--but I think the agent actually came by and took pictures before I got home.

The next couple nigths I rmemeber sleeping next to the phone and keeping the TV on for "breaking news." There was a bomb scare the Empire State building one night which turnbed out to be a hoax. I remember the reporter thinking he was on the evrge of another big story but it turning out to be nothing. the phone rang constantly people seeing if me or any of my roommates were OK or if people we knew were OK.

I didn't know anyone who was lost that day. I remember the signs plastered all over the city, pictures of those lost. After a while I felt things get back to normal. Then the president announced that we had starting bombing Afganistant I remember feeling a collective sigh that the pot of danger had been stirred up again. But life got back to normal, I was still here. I've learned to ignore the terror alert because if the disaster happens its going to be out of the blue. For a while I had a supply of canned goods and come minor medical supplies (gauze and rubbing alcohol). i took an EMT class in college but never have put that knowledge to use. My canned good eventually found there way to my supper menu save for some carrots and peas which are sitting in my cupboard. I actually think have a "go bag" is smart, I just haven't put together one.

I really liked the cover of the Village Voice that came out that week. It showed a picture of one of the towers being hit with the words "The Bastards!" It's childish, but I felt the same way. I don't really want to share any elaborate analysis of that day. I did feel like ervyone came together and I'm sad we really haven't come together after that.

i apologize for the rough draft nature of the writing and also for any corniness. My thoughts and prayers go out to all experiencing loss today.