Questions

1. When's Harlacher House opening?

2. Oatmeal raisin cookies, who started pretending these things were better than chocolate chip cookies?

3. If if's and butt's were candy and nuts, would we all have a merry Christmas?

4. When you throw out pencil shavings do they go to Pencil-Shaving-Heaven?

5. John Kerry?

6. Why do people chew gum after the flavor goes away? Does chewing release endorphins?

7. If television weren't around, who would be president right now?

8. Is the Patriot Act a retooled version of the Sedition Acts passed by President Adams?

9. Those flavored ices, when you suck the flavor out, what do you do with the ice?

10. Does Al Sharpton really believe that those twenty-five cent juices are put out to sterilize poor people?

11. Has the War on Iraq distracted us from more immediate questions such as WHAT THE HELL KILLED ALL THOSE DINOSAURS?

12. If I was a baby and needed to learn to walk, if I were a fish would I need to learn to swim?